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  • Writer's pictureDC Eastman

The Blair Witch Bastard- A Short Warning

I don’t do it as often anymore, but I used to love hiking and camping alone. Sometimes, I wanted to do it by myself, but there were other times when I just went out and did it because people had other plans or wanted to postpone because of the weather, etc.


I firmly believe that if you always wait for other people to do things with you, you’ll go through life without doing much at all.  





When you’re missioning toward your camping spot, whether it’s hiking or driving, you’re excited and immersed in the moment. It’s only once you’ve set up camp, made a fire, eaten food, and had your beer or two that the excitement subsides. That’s usually when you realize how deep your addiction toward instant gratification is.


A night alone in the woods can become boring without a cell signal and downloaded entertainment on your phone. It’ll take you some time to get to that point. Or perhaps that’s just me. But I remember the first couple of times as being a constant rush. But the more you do it, the more you get used to it…. As is the case with most things in life.


A night alone in the woods can become boring without a cell signal and downloaded entertainment on your phone. It’ll take you some time to get to that point.


Or perhaps that’s just me.


But I remember the first couple of times as being a constant rush. But the more you do it, the more you get used to it….


As is the case with most things in life.


It was probably around the 10th time or so of camping on my own when my inner bastard joined the party.


I was sitting there, bored out of my wits and listening to the forest’s symphony. In the distance, I heard a crack—most probably just a small forest creature. In my mind, however, it was something much more sinister.


Aliens, hillbillies, or… the Blair Witch.


It got me thinking about how I would react if I had picked up my flashlight and gone to investigate and then found piles of rock or those freaky twig figurines hanging from trees.


The mere thought of it sent shivers up my spine. And that’s when the inner-bastard got an idea.


If I had freaked out like that, then others with over-active imaginations would have done it, too! So that’s when I started making my own Blair Witch figurines.




I’ve placed these on three continents in strategic spots close to campsites.


The sad thing is that I would never find out if it worked. Not knowing that someone peed themselves when they saw it at night annoyed me, but making them kept me busy during those long nights in the wild.


If you ever discover one, I hope it’s during the day and not at night.


And if you do, please let me know!










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